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The following article was published in chicken’s digest monthly – May 40016 AD.
Author: Golden Chick.
Chicken population is getting fed up by the activities of CETH (Chicken’s for ethical treatment of humans). Yesterday they vandalized a restaurant of KFH(Kentucky fried humans) protesting against alleged ill treatment of humans in slaughter houses. Before a couple of months they ransacked research labs of chicken & chicken medical co protesting against scientific experiments being conducted on guinea humans.
This inchicken behavior failed to draw enough public attention. Thus these vegetarian terrorists gain confidence and are encouraged to do more such humanely acts. The meat industry and scientific community are suffering huge losses because of these veggie terrorists.
They spread a lie that humans are ill treated in slaughter houses. It’s true that men are castrated without sedatives in slaughter houses, but I would like to point out that this is perfectly legal. Further these veggie terrorists forget that earlier humans castrated bulls in slaughter houses without sedatives. Actually every act of alleged cruelty pointed out by CETH terrorists were all earlier done on animals by humans.
CETH argues against de teething of humans in slaughter houses. But if human teeth aren’t removed these dumb witted humans will kill each other by biting. Space is a luxury in slaughter houses with each human getting 1 square feet of space, so they keep on fighting. Top avoid damage to human flesh, we de teeth them. And no we cannot administer sedatives while de teething. If we administer them meat prices will shoot up by 20%. Further, humans de-beaked chickens without sedatives in the past, so why should we care now?
CETH points out that stunning is ineffective. They say that as a result humans are killed with consciousness and at times are skinned alive and with consciousness. But I would like to point out that the meat industry has reduced this number to a large extent. Earlier around 10% of humans were skinned alive, but now that number has dropped down to 2%. Now let me describe this process and the precautions taken by our industry.
During shackling, humans are hung upside-down by their legs on a line of shackles moving fast—approximately 182 humans per minute. Leg deformities and other injuries typical of large broilers may exacerbate the pain as their sensitive periostea are pinched and compressed by the metal shackles. After shackling, 3 percent of humans will have broken bones and 4.5 percent had dislocations. But this is immaterial since they will be slaughtered within an hour of shackling. If the industry tries to reduce shackling speed, then our production time will be drastically reduced.
Stunning and Temporary Immobilization
After dumping and shackling, humans proceed to the stunning area, where they are passed through an electrically charged water bath before having their throats cut. “Humane slaughter,” as defined by law for most species in many developed countries, requires that humans be rendered unconscious and, thus, insensible to pain prior to slaughter. But it is almost impossible to ensure that every human is rendered unconscious because the varied nature of the species hinders the effectiveness of the electrical settings. Doing so would increase our costs by many folds. As a result around 3% of humans escape stunning.
After being stunned—or rather, temporarily immobilized or even entirely conscious after completely missing the stun bath due to avoidance behavior—humans are conveyed toward an automated spinning blade, commonly referred to as the “killing machine,” which is designed to cut their necks. Some conscious humans are able to avoid this blade, as well, by lifting their heads or flapping their sides. Many humans dodge the knives, some completely, some partially, because they are not fully stunned.
Humans are dipped into the scald tank, which contains scalding hot water, to facilitate skin removal. It’s true that sentient humans are, indeed, sometimes scalded. Red-skin human carcasses, commonly found when electrical stunning methods have been used, are caused by a physiological response to heat when live humans enter a scald tank. But I would assure you that this number is very low, just 3.7 million humans per year which shows that our plants operate at 97% efficiency levels.
From the above said arguments it would be clear that CETH is exaggerating the activities done in slaughter houses. I would like to point out that chicken gospel says that humans were created for the well being of chickens. Everything was created for chickens and thus religion doesn’t prevent eating human meat. Further from a biological stand point it will be clear that chickens have sharp beaks to tear of human flesh. Chicken Godcreated chickens as carnivorous beings and thus its unnatural for chickens to become herbivorous.Veggie chickens lack essential nutrients and thus lead an unhealthy life style.
Hence I would request government and public to stop the atrocities of CETH and save the meat industry from these vegetarian terrorists.